Don’t instantly blame the parents
One big problem we have as humans is it’s natural for us to sometimes judge someones parenting skills. I am surely guilty of that. But I’m a little more careful with my judgement and blame decisions now that I have a son with autism and ADHD. I understand that some children just have a lot going on in those little brains of theirs and it’s no ones fault.
When we first got Lil Man’s diagnosis and after I got out of that denial stage, 0ften I would blame myself when I couldn’t figure things out. I have since learned that there was nothing during my pregnancy or even now that points to me being a bad parent. I can only try to teach him and learn ways to redirect certain behaviors he has.
There was one instance a while ago when my son had a meltdown. This wasn’t a good day for him from the start. He had been having issues throughout the day but I wanted to go shopping 😱. I thought it would be quick so everything should be fine, plus we needed to get some fresh air. We ended up at the mall and my favorite shoe store. Lil Man was fine at first, he likes to stay close to me when we walk through crowds.
Once in the store, I found a shoe I liked and waited for the sales lady to find my size. During the wait he decided it was just too much going on for him and started to meltdown. Well needless to say I had an older lady ask me if I wanted her to handle that. Meaning if I needed her to discipline my son for me. Let’s just say I didn’t handle her statement very well and had my own meltdown towards her.
I haven’t had that problem since. But If I am approached that way again, I will simply let them know my son has autism and once I get him in a calmed place away from people he will be fine. After I make my statement, I will smile and walk away. I know, easier said than done but I won’t allow anyone to question my parenting.
Parenting any child can sometimes be challenging. When you have a child on the spectrum you have extra challenges to deal with. You do the best you can with what you have. Autism is not the parents fault and definitely not the child’s fault.
**The next time you are out and you see a child acting out, ask if you can be of help. Don’t instantly judge or blame. You never know what type of day they have had.
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